Breaking the Cycle When Manifesting Relationships

I, like many, discovered the law after a break up nearly two years ago now. I was absolutely desperate to get him back. A random video came up on YouTube one day, called how to get your ex back with the law of attraction. I watched it and then countless others. Long story short, it didn’t solve anything. I spent the next six months watching countless YouTube videos, reading countless articles to try and find the ‘quick fix’. I spent those six months obsessed with getting my ex back, he was all I thought about. Even when (reflecting back) I was very depressed and I thought when I got him back everything would be perfect.

All the things I had read or listened to told me free will existed, if you’ve ‘tried’ to get them back and nothing has worked, move on. I honestly thought I was losing my mind. Even with this frantic behavior, in the back of my mind something would always tell me there was more to this. I sat in my bed one night thinking why am I in this world and there is something more to it than I am seeing. I woke up the next day feeling free and lighter than air. I spent the next few days only thinking about me and why was I here, what is my purpose? I came across the law of assumption then the I AM love website during this time and everything changed for me.

I had a coaching session with Jennifer about a year ago now and my main goal was to get my ex back. After my session I had no doubt he was mine, he messaged me out the blue 3 days later and we hadn’t spoken once since breaking up and that was a year ago at that point. He also messaged 2 weeks later. I started to go back to the old me and started doubting and having a lot of fear though. I was not persisting at all and was constantly looking for evidence. I also did no self-concept work because even then it was all about him to me.

My day would revolve around reading affirmations, seeing no results and feeling like a failure. I would read and repeat countless affirmations, time how long I read them, then think about how my ex was happier with someone else. I couldn’t accept it was as simple as when a desire came upon me it was already mine. A few months went by and I started looking for evidence (again) and I saw something I didn’t want to see- my ex was going to be a dad. I felt like a failure when I saw this. I had spent so long ‘trying’ to get him back and I failed. However, the day after Jennifer and Kriston put out another podcast called “Manifesting Despite Limiting Beliefs” and after listening to it, it clicked in a way it had never before. It wasn’t real. Everything I was looking at was a complete illusion of old thoughts. At that moment I was finally breaking that cycle after over a year and a half of reacting. I was only seeing what I didn’t want because the thoughts were simply purging and I became grateful for them in a way. I felt free of them.

I had another coaching session with Jennifer near the end of last year where we spoke about manifesting in general. It wasn’t focused around my ex but on myself and the other desires I also had in life. At this point I had a few directions I wanted my life to go in, so my focus was not on my ex but more on myself. Fast forward 3/4 months later, and I’m currently in bed next to my boyfriend. Is he my ex that I wanted back so badly? No, however my ex does message me often now. He even apologized to me explaining how he tweeted he was going to be a dad to get a reply from his favorite football team in case I saw it and thought it was real. So, I never failed, I actually rewrote my story with my ex but I also realized that I didn’t want him. I just wanted him back because it was what I knew and was comfortable with. He lives in the country I wanted to move to and I didn’t believe in myself enough to be able to do it alone, so if I was with him everything would be ‘perfect’ and easy.

There’s no ‘quick fix’ to this new way of living. You can’t want someone or something for a second then for the rest of the day affirm it’s not here. The turning point for me was truly understanding everything in front of me was an illusion and old thoughts. You see things differently when you understand this and I get that now. I was scared every single person in my life would leave me and now those thoughts don’t scare me – they have no control over me. 

“Love is our birthright. Love is the fundamental necessity of our life. Do not go seeking for that which you are. Those who go seeking for love only make manifest their own lovelessness and the loveless never find love. Only the loving find love and they never have to seek for it.” 

Neville Goddard

I had spent my entire adult life looking for love out there instead of within myself and when I did, I found love. I love my boyfriend, and I am not scared he will leave. When we have a disagreement, I am not worried he’ll leave me or when his phone goes off it’s another girl. I used to always give 100% to men and when I pushed them away I was always left feeling empty, and thought that I would only feel complete when they come back. As I said, I love my boyfriend, but I also love myself. If my boyfriend woke up tomorrow and said he didn’t want to be with me, I wouldn’t panic. I would simply just need to work on my self-concept a little bit more and I know he’d be back in no time. The love you give yourself truly is different and when you do love yourself you look at life and others differently.

I had a very poor self-concept. I suffered with depression since I was a child and I didn’t have much family growing up. I always felt abandoned throughout my life up until my mid-twenties. I was so comfortable in the victim mode. Whenever a friend of mine was with another friend my first thought was that they wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. I had been with another ex of mine for many years and he woke up one day and said he was done. That was the story I held with guys and it repeated with every single one – literally. That very guy would leave me for someone else. Self-concept truly is the key. I never wanted to work on my self-concept because I just wanted my ex back, but you will just repeat the same story with everyone in your life if you don’t work on your self-concept. For me, when I put myself first and worked on my self-concept, everything else fell into place in a way. I can’t imagine my life now without a wonderful self-concept for myself.

This is only the start of my journey. I don’t know what I want next in life but I know regardless I can have it if I want it. I am beautiful and worthy of life. I am God. I AM love.

About the Author

K A is a psychology student who looked for love in everyone and finally found it in herself. She has since a child felt there was more to life and when discovered the Law has changed her life and hopes to help others change theirs too.